had a thought today...

maybe I don't want to drink alcohol anymore. I don't know where the thought came from or why it came, but it did. I have an idea that it might be a good thought though, cause I've had those lately.

Yesterday, I thought maybe I should try to run 5 miles, so I measured out a 5 mile route with my car and I went out and ran 5 miles at just under a 10 minute mile pace and it was a piece of cake. It felt awesome.

At the beginning of January I thought, maybe I should pay $1,000 a month toward my debt and be out by June. I didn't even know that was possible for me to do, and for the last 2 months I've exceeded my goal. I should be out of debt and maybe even have purchased a digital camera by June.

About a month or so ago, I thought, maybe I should invest some money and I now own stock in a company (TI) that I believe will be a good long term investment. Texas Instrument decided to build a "green" factory that is so energy efficient that they will save more money than they would have, had they decided to outsource jobs, I have really enjoyed reading up on this company, which I now proudly hold stock in. They produce some really interesting things, although I am not at all a technology buff, so I don't understand most of what they produce. But, hey, I think it's a good investment.

About 3 months ago I decided to get a massage twice a month. That was a great decision for so many reasons. It's affordable as I have a best friend who is a massage therapist. She appreciates the extra income as well. I work crazy long hours on my feet and I work out pretty hard, so my body needs it. Now my back doesn't hurt all the time and the healthy human touch is really helping my mental health.

A couple of months ago, I had a thought to make a list of the things I respect. I realized that I need to aspire to be the things I respect and as I progress in doing that, I can be assured that I respect myself. (I also made a list of the things I covet in order to be aware of the difference)

A few weeks ago, I decided to attempt to ask God everyday to show me truth. Maybe all these thoughts and decisions have something to do with that. I have struggled to understand and have faith for so long. I need to know it's real and that my beliefs are not imagined. I ask with such desperation, sometimes through tears of frustration or desire. That was probably the best decision I've made lately.

Anyway, my point might be that I have been making good decisions for myself and have been working really hard at setting and achieving some goals that I am happy with, so maybe this is just the next step in my lifelong decision to not settle for mediocrity. I don't want to be average. I want to be the best I can be. We all have so much potential. I don't want to squander mine.

So, maybe I'll listen to that thought. Maybe sometimes I shouldn't think so much about every thought. Maybe I should just do it, like I went out and ran yesterday, without even really thinking about it. And once I did it...I felt awesome!