had a thought today...

maybe I don't want to drink alcohol anymore. I don't know where the thought came from or why it came, but it did. I have an idea that it might be a good thought though, cause I've had those lately.

Yesterday, I thought maybe I should try to run 5 miles, so I measured out a 5 mile route with my car and I went out and ran 5 miles at just under a 10 minute mile pace and it was a piece of cake. It felt awesome.

At the beginning of January I thought, maybe I should pay $1,000 a month toward my debt and be out by June. I didn't even know that was possible for me to do, and for the last 2 months I've exceeded my goal. I should be out of debt and maybe even have purchased a digital camera by June.

About a month or so ago, I thought, maybe I should invest some money and I now own stock in a company (TI) that I believe will be a good long term investment. Texas Instrument decided to build a "green" factory that is so energy efficient that they will save more money than they would have, had they decided to outsource jobs, I have really enjoyed reading up on this company, which I now proudly hold stock in. They produce some really interesting things, although I am not at all a technology buff, so I don't understand most of what they produce. But, hey, I think it's a good investment.

About 3 months ago I decided to get a massage twice a month. That was a great decision for so many reasons. It's affordable as I have a best friend who is a massage therapist. She appreciates the extra income as well. I work crazy long hours on my feet and I work out pretty hard, so my body needs it. Now my back doesn't hurt all the time and the healthy human touch is really helping my mental health.

A couple of months ago, I had a thought to make a list of the things I respect. I realized that I need to aspire to be the things I respect and as I progress in doing that, I can be assured that I respect myself. (I also made a list of the things I covet in order to be aware of the difference)

A few weeks ago, I decided to attempt to ask God everyday to show me truth. Maybe all these thoughts and decisions have something to do with that. I have struggled to understand and have faith for so long. I need to know it's real and that my beliefs are not imagined. I ask with such desperation, sometimes through tears of frustration or desire. That was probably the best decision I've made lately.

Anyway, my point might be that I have been making good decisions for myself and have been working really hard at setting and achieving some goals that I am happy with, so maybe this is just the next step in my lifelong decision to not settle for mediocrity. I don't want to be average. I want to be the best I can be. We all have so much potential. I don't want to squander mine.

So, maybe I'll listen to that thought. Maybe sometimes I shouldn't think so much about every thought. Maybe I should just do it, like I went out and ran yesterday, without even really thinking about it. And once I did it...I felt awesome!

Portland Waterfront Walk

I went on one of my favorite walks today with one of my favorite people. Here's a pic that Sheena took of me on the eastside of waterfront.

Alan

I work at a little Espresso bistro. I have a regular customer who comes in numerous times a day. He has an office in the building and he says I make the best cappucinos. This is quite a compliment for 2 reasons. The first reason is that I work at a coffee bar that is quite pretentious about their Italian coffee and about things being done in the traditional Italian way. I was taught how to make a cappucino from the owner who is an Italian woman who takes it quite seriously. Reason number two is this: we recently changed cups to a different shape and Alan began telling us that the coffee tasted different. Sounds crazy (and he's not pretentious about it, he doesn't care, he just likes a good cappucino, which, apparently Starbuck's can't make) but he's actually right. The shape of the cup gives it a slightly different taste (so the experts say). So, now, I'm considering him quite a connoisseur. He says I make a the best, most consistent cappucino. Wow, he gets at least one a day from the owner. He came in this afternoon and enjoyed his cappucino so much and considered that I don't work tomorrow and he ordered another. So, enough of the silly espresso talk, this afternoon is what leads me to write any of this at all. This afternoon Alan said to me, "Boy, you're smart!" This only means so much to me because this man is probably in his 60's and is an architect and has more interesting things to say than most anyone I've met. This is the man who said that I am smart. I regularly have afternoon conversations with Alan about Portland history, stocks, investing, tennis etc. I ask a lot of questions and I listen intently. I've learned a lot and occasionally so does he. I don't know where this stuff comes from in our conversations, maybe the pressure draws it out of me. The pressure I put upon myself to not look like a 27 year old fool, who hasn't got her life together. I've told him about an old jazz club and the history I've heard about it and the desires of a green architect to renovate it, the stocks I follow and think would be good to invest in, back roads geography of the Portland area that I know of, and toady I figured out his new cell phone for him. Simple things but for some reason through all our conversing he has paid me one of the most valuable compliments on this day...I'm smart. Even if only Alan and I think so, it makes me feel good.

This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship!

This is my second blog, but since I told Lucas that I would give him my blog address if he gave me his and he held his end of the bargain up, by starting a blog, I figured I had better create a blog that I could actually share publicly. So...here it is. The very first public, Laura blog. This is going to be fun! Also, Shawn is going to practice his new HTML and CSS skills and make my blog look cool.